If you eat brains, then you are a hipster.
Assume you eat brains, then you are either a zombie or a cannibal (given that we are talking about a human). From here, we split it into cases.
Case 1 - Zombie:
Zombies are trendy right now, which means that all hipsters were zombies before they were cool, because, by definition 3.0.2 - "All hipsters have done/seen/been anything and everything that is considered trendy or cool, before anyone else."
Case 2 - Cannibal:
Assume you are a cannibal and you are not a hipster. By the PBR theorem, "all hipsters eat trendy or rare delicacies." Because brain is considered a delicacy, we have contradiction and therefore if you eat brians and you are a cannibal, then you are a hipster.
If you are a hipster, then you eat brains.
Assume you are a hipster and you do not eat brains, then you have not eaten a brain, and it is true that SOMEONE has eaten a brain. Again, using the definition of a hipster, we see that you are not a hipster. Which means we have a contradiction and it follows that if you are a hipster, then you eat brains.
Obviously, there is room for improvement in my logical arguments. Case-in-point, I haven't been able to explain Theorem 8.2.1 - "Hipsters are either vegetarians or vegans, and they're dicks about it."
I am open to feedback as how to tighten my proof.
